What is the use of testing if there is nothing to test for?

Did 1 1/2 days of training this week. First 4 hours was interesting and today was a cluster of usual proportions. I am on permanent light duty. I have no hope of ever going back to doing what I did when I was injured. Why then, do I have to, IN EFFECT MUST TAKE a test on what I did 3 1/2 years ago. I passed by the skin of my teeth and a lot of stuff was not what we covered in the review. It seems stupid to continue to test me for things I am not allowed to do. When I went into the training modules after I took this test, most of the modules were for the other type of position. Again I am limited to light duty. But I passed a lot of the modules and have an idea of what would be expected of me. Unfortunately, moving my arms up and down holding an instrument of torture would soon have me in ER begging for meds to stop the pain. Tomorrow I will email the HR person and ask why this is necessary since the agency has decided that I am never ever going back on the line. It's too bad that they can't see the forest for the trees. There are people who have abilities and talents that will never be used by the agency because they are biased and prejudiced against those of us who were injured doing our jobs. Rant over.

My cousin who was in the accident is hanging on. They seem to have stopped most of the intestinal bleeding but haven't been able to get him stable enough for the pelvis to be worked on. I hope that he will be able to tolerate surgery and be able to walk out of that hospital. I hope the asshat who hit him has a lot of insurance and money. All he got was a busted lip. I continue to pray for him.

Woke up wheezing this morning. Have had a dry throat and cough all week. Don't feel crappy but just have to keep drinking to keep my throat lubricated. That means I get up and have to talk a walk during the night. One night I was so tired I nearly fell asleep on the throne.

Not much else to say.
Life goes on.

Ciao.

Blood draws

I had to go to the lab this morning and have my semi annual blood drawing. Just to see if there is any niceness left in my body I guess? The woman who drew the blood was fast and efficient. Got 3 tubes full in a couple of minutes, wrapped me up and sent me on my way. I had to fast so I was kind of hungry when I got home. Bananas awaited! (They were on sale 5 lbs for $1. at the market).

I wish the weather would do something strange and have a good old fashioned thunder storm with lots of rain and lightning and storm. We need the rain so badly. My front yard is brown and I don't want to water it too much because it costs so much. But tonight I will use the sprinkler and give it a drink. The flowers would appreciate it I am sure.

I wrote my case worker. I wonder if she will give a damn or just throw the letter in the circular file. Since I have successfully completed 2 months of work that is acceptable to my level of disability, they have terminated my benefits. That is in complete opposition to what the HR person told those of us who returned. If it was related to our work injury DOL was to cover that. According to DOL, sorry, you're screwed. You can sit in front of an escalator for 8 hours and breathe so we don't care about you anymore. Point in case, I took 800 mgs of Ibuprofen and guess what, it hasn't put a dent in the pain.

Can we say pissed off? YES WE CAN!

The Spector trial is dragging on. Piffle.

Well kiddos, life goes on. What can I say?

Ciao!

Don't take a sleeping pill and a vicodin

You'll sleep like a log and not wake up till the day is half over. Not that it's a bad thing, but when the alarm went off for church it sounded way far away. Glad I could sleep in today.

Got bad news last night. My cousin, who I seemed to get into trouble with when we were kids, was severely injured in a head on car accident yesterday near his home in Lone Rock, WI. His wife and son were not with him. His wife is pretty fragile and I don't know how she is going to handle this. I hope she will be surrounded by people to help her and him deal with this.

Sat at another exciting exit last night. Not much going on.

I got a letter from the DOL proclaiming to me that my benefits have stopped since I successfully worked for 2 months. That means if I have to take time off because of my shoulder, I don't get paid for it. Thanks a whole hell of a lot. I am writing the DOL tomorrow and giving them a piece of my tiny little mind about a whole rash of stuff. Least being the fact that I have still have constant pain and that isn't going away, nor is the fact that there a few things in my non work life that I can't do.

I have a whole list of things that I need to do. Write a bunch of letters.

Had tritip burritos tonight. The kid who had the party yesterday wanted ribs. Tough, it's mother's day and thank you very much I get to have what I want.

The party wasn't happy. Remember that old Leslie Gore song about "It's My Party"? Kinda turned out like that. At least there were some people who cared for her. As I told her life will go on. And the person who caused the trouble will only have herself to blame when her life spirals into a sewer. I had problems with that girl, can't stand her father who is a drunk, and now she has caused my kid grief.

Well tomorrow is another day, have to go to lab and have bloodwork done, write my letters and then hope that I can find the chicken for dinner. Have a good salad for lunch and enjoy my clean family room. They need to do the great room next.

Ciao.

Ach ja

It's all about keeping your eyes open and watching for the bad guys! Sometimes I think it's locking the barn door after the horse has gotten out and gotten into the daffodils. Not much sense in some of it. But I know seriously that if I don't toe the party line I could really be in trouble. That's sad isn't it. What happened to 1st amendment freedom of speech and all that? Not really applicable anymore. I love my country, I just don't like the government much at all.

This is my Friday. I had an interesting afternoon/evening in class yesterday. It was okay until the last video which was BORING. Got home and relaxed though. Slept in today so I should be wide awake for the rest of the afternoon evening.

I don't know if I will go to church tomorrow. I know, I know it's Mother's Day, and my Mom doesn't want to sit all by herself in church.

I am going to have a good day. I will. I will. I have to convince myself of that. At least I hope so.

Kiddo's having her 18th birthday party today and I will miss it. That's okay. I have to work.

Ciao babies.

Not today.....

Today is one of those days that I wish I could stay home. But I won't because I get to go to a class on booooombs tonight. And tomorrow I get to do online training for 8 hours. So I'll only be in the terminal for a few hours today. That's good.

Saw someone famous yesterday. I told my husband I saw Zephram Cochrane. Dang he's tall. I know, I know that's not his name.
He's got a pony tail. I guess eccentricity is rampant in entertainment, but to me he'll always be ZC as opposed to the farmer in Babe. LOL.

Car is in the shop for at least 5 days. They have to take the bumper off and replace all the innards because that is what took the brunt when the impact hit. Thank God for insurance. They only pay 15$ a day for a rental car so we have to ante up 8$ more. But at least we will have transport.

Fog really came in last night. Dropped the temps too. 2 days ago it was 86 and today it's 63.

Not much else. Later.
Ciao.

changed my mind . i am gonna go play in a new truck

Not saying goodbye to a friend

Okay so this post is going to be about 1 thing.

Saying goodbye.

Yesterday I found out that a woman who I knew from a message board, quite well, we'd emailed and snail mailed each other a bit, died. She was young. Mid 30's. 2 kids. Loving husband. Lived in TX. Had lymphoma. Fought it for over 6 years. In the end it got into her liver and there was nothing left to do. She had chemo, radiation, alternative therapies. God wanted her in heaven so she is there. I will miss her dearly. We both had GSP's and loved them. God speed dear Paula.

The other good bye is someone who I thought was a close friend. We went on excursions and adventures. We laughed and cried. He quit a job somewhere I used to be quite involved in. He didn't tell me. He just said this is it, I'm gone, after 12 years. No nothing.

At this point it's don't let the door hit y0u on the way out. I hope you find what you are looking for. I am not going to enable you to make me the villian because I told you I felt pretty darn hurt that you talked to me the night before and didn't tell me anything. You hurt my Mom and my kid, not physically but emotionally. You've been a part of this family for 9 years and you just walk and not say anything? You've done this before to other people but I thought since you were sober now it might be different. So now you'll be somewhere else and people will stroke you and tell you how wonderful you are but you will be lonely and you will be missing something that you can't put your hands on. Friendship. You burned the bridge bucko. It's done and over. And I am glad that it is. I have my family , my friends and my dogs. And someone who is as flawed as I am but loves me none the less. Later dude. I hope you and your dogs are happy in your house on the hill. My phone is off.

So I got that off my chest. I guess you never know people do you?

Tomorrow will be my day off. I think I am going to swim till I turn into a prune just to get this anger out of me.

Ciao.

A Quick Chuckle

Karma does come around.

Tom Ridge, who was the first Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security came through the checkpoint I was near yesterday. He got the dreaded SSSS on his boarding pass. Perhaps his name is on the no fly list? Perhaps he's whatever. Anyway, he got the full 5¢ patdown. Too bad.

In other news, people still ask where the baggage claim is for the airline they came in on, where the closest area is they can smoke, where can they take their dog inside security to take a whiz, and are you sure my baggage is here. I felt sorry for one lady whose flight was delayed then cancelled. I directed her to baggage services and told her they could help her.
There were several people who thanked me profusely for telling them that yes there are restrooms by baggage services. And they walked by 2 sets of restrooms after they left the plane.

Another person came up to a group of people who work for the organization and asked them( mind you these are guvmint employeees here) if they could call Thai Airways and tell them a group was delayed? Um no. You need to contact them yourself. Not connected to airlines at all. Just a thorn in the side.

Another news item, someone at DIA dropped the ball and a jungle jet had to get reverse screened when it landed here. Isn't that locking the barn door after the horse is out? Did they check the RJ after it landed for secreted knives or weapons? Or tell people after they had already landed they couldn't take their 15 oz shampoos with them?

::insert head pounding genie here::

And a certain airline changed the code to the ops center downstairs and some of the flight crews didn't have it. But we did. I have gone into the area once to get a bottle of water from the vending machine in the lunchroom. I have actually been in the ops center, years ago when I was taking a class in travel management. It was cool. But then I had been in the TWA ops center and comm center at LAX a few times in my wasted youth.

Oh well. Another exciting day in the life of a drone.

Ciao babies.

-30-

still coughing, etc

Well I went to see my doctor today and she wants me to pump myself full of antibiotics before I go back to work. Hence, one more day at home drinking liquids and swallowing pills. Also gave me an inhaler so I can work on the wheezing at night. Fun.

There's going to be a march in downtown LA tomorrow. May Day, Immigration, the like. Wonder if all the people who are being inconvenienced by the thousands of people who are downtown will protest. Nah. Wouldn't get any coverage. I bet the husband will have to find a new route home if the onramps he uses are blocked.

I think BICE/DHS should be there too with a bunch of vans. Imagine how many people they could deport tomorrow night if they wanted to. I've seen deportees, don't look much different than the people you see at Food 4 Less or any other store. Jeans and sweatshirts and tennis shoes. But they are guarded by 2 BICE officers who stay till they are on the plane and the jetway has pulled away and the plane taxis away from the gate. Not much luck there.

Tomorrow I have to do a fasting blood test and pee test. Just to check to see that all my systems are working okay and the drugs that I have taken over the last 18 months ( ie meds for the shoulder) haven't done anything strange to my systems.

Being sick was okay. I lost 6 lbs in 7 days. I can stand to lose a lot more. That is the next project. Walking dogs and all that.

Time to think about dinner.

Ciao.
-30-

Peeeeeza, bring on da peeeeeza

Ahhhh the joys of pizza. I was craving breadsticks but settled for pizza because I didn't want to get dressed and go to the Olive Garden to settle my craving. That's the thing with this bug, I get hungry about dinner time and that's it for the day. I have a couple of 100 calorie snacks during the afternoon and that's it. OF course I am filling myself with water. So we got Papa Johns and are sitting upstairs watching science programs on disasters that could affect the world. Do you realize that a super Tsnumani would wipe out the airport because of it's location on the coast? Bye Bye El Segundo Blue Butterfly too. That coastal area would be under da water. We, by the grace of being in the hills, would have several areas of deep water before we'd actually get hit. Of course I am not planning on that happening at least in this incarnation.



I am unusually cheery this evening. And have no idea why.

My good friend or so I thought, quit his job of 10+ years today and said later to everyone who cared about him. I had talked to him yesterday and he didn't even have the courtesy to tell me. I was not there for the announcement as I am under the weather. I called and said I must really rate pretty low for you not to tell me the news. Life will go on. It always does.


Finished an interesting book called Hollywood Car Wash and it was pretty good. A fictionalized story about a small town girl who comes to Hollywood by accident and how things change for her overnight. Supposed to be pretty close to Katie Holmes' story. I wonder if "all the money in the world" makes up for living a lie.

So I am going to curl up and read another book and just relax, tomorrow I see the doctor and I am not going to take any meds so I can cough my glorious cough.

Ciao Babies!
-30-

Friday Cough Update

Well let's just say the throat isn't as raw as it was but the cough is still as nasty azz as ever. I just took some more Phenergan with codeine and I hope that it will calm it down. I forgot to take my other meds this morning, just plain forgot. Guess I'll have to mark the calendar again. Oh yeah, Lidocaine solution for sore throats just plain sucks eggs. I should have asked them to flavor the stuff if they could. God, it makes you pray to get better just so you could not have to take the crap.

I am sure work is thrilled over my absence. Better coughing and hacking here than hoping someone will come relieve me so I can run to the john and hack this crap up. That's a problem at some of the exits, no one pays attention to you. They are too busy doing their prescribed work that they forget to even look at you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tomorrow is going to be lay low again. But the husband will be home. He's glad, it's been a long week. Has to get some estimates for the car, and then take it in. He can't wait to get the police report from the CHP and find out about the guy who hit him. Wonder if they found him.

Am having vegetable rolls and beef teriyaki for dinner tonight. SOunds good to me. The rest are having sushi and sashimi.

Gonna be an early night again tonight.

Ciao Babies.

-30-

Damn

I woke up with a really sore throat. Think I got it from the husband.
Just what I don't need.
Nice day outside. Dogs are quiet.
Politics suck. Unless the prospective candidates give me more to go on, I don't think I'll be happy with any of them.
9 more dead. 30 ton truck bombs. 3333 dead. And we're winning?
Too sad. This administration has been nothing but stone cold liars from day one. And my TX inlaws think he's the best thing since sliced toast. Who knows what this country will be like in 2008. We have kabuki theater for security. Safety is a joke.
Time to go and rest.
Ciao.

-30-

Sheesh

So my husband is driving home from work yesterday. I am already on my shift watching the exit when I get a text message. My husband has been involved in a car accident. The details are bizarre. Here we go:

He's on the 10 east fwy headed towards the 405 south. Traffic backs up at the offramp due to congestion. He stops. Someone behind him does not stop. Slams into him. The car behind them slams into them and he gets hit again. He and #3 car pull off the freeway. Guy 2 tries to start his car, but no luck. Guy 2 exits his car with the keys and his backpack. 1&3 say hey we need your info, guy 2 says in a minute I've got to pee in the bushes. GUY 2 BAILS AND RUNS INTO THE BUSHES AND DISAPPEARS LEAVING HIS CAR IN THE #2 LANE ABANDONED AND SMASHED. The CHP comes and does the report, the EMT's come and check out my husband. I leave the terminal and he picks me up. I call our medical group and they want him to go to the hospital. So we go to the hospital and he gets checked out. They say whiplash and take an NSAID. He's okay though my baby car has some bumps. I can't believe the guy bailed and left his car. CHP will check and chase. Just another day in LA.

My ortho prescibed Celebrex. The ER doctor said throw it out. I have an appt with my PCP tomorrow and will talk to her about the meds. You'd think the ortho would ask about other meds, I guess they dont' care. If I didn't take the time to check out the meds and read the contra's I could be doing myself great damage.

After I see my PCP I am going to fax my ortho and ask him to refer me to a neurologist because my PT person said it's not bones it's nerves that are acting up.

#1 child got a Wiiiiii today. What fun for him.
#2 child forgot her cel phone at church, good thing I got a call from the finder and picked it up.

Enough good news for today.

Ciao.
-30-

tales from airside, part III

I was in the dungeon again yesterday. During my first break I walked up to one of the locked exit doors in the terminal and took this picture looking eastward from the airport. The sky was that black and the clouds were just hanging. We had rain from 0300 till about 1200 and then it stopped but east of us there was a lot of precip. The flight pattern had just changed from taking off to the east back to normal ops when I went to work. Kind of cool to see a fully loaded 747 lift off into the sky over the heavily populated areas. It just lumbers along till the air relaxes and it can get the power to fly off.

Things at home are normal. All are gone this Saturday. 2 to work, one to a choir festival and then an afternoon and evening at Magic Mountain. Due to my lack of transport I am at the mercy of others so I have to leave in about an hour. Oh well I will take my book and read it hopefully I can find a quiet corner to make myself invisible.

This is my Friday and I am glad of it. We are treated like 2nd class citizens. What else is new? Nothing.

Ciao babies.
-30-

Still stunned

I don't know what to think about the shootings at VT. All I can think of is the families whose lives will never be the same. And how do you go back to school and walk into a classroom and wonder if you will be safe?

Too much.
bye

Days off go by too fast

Especially when you sleep late and then go to your favorite beach hangout for a late breakfast. Except I think the eggs or the ham weren't fresh and I got sulfur emissions and then the runs, sorry but I think Scottie's is to blame this time.

<----- Big Dog and Big Guy. Just came back from a walk and big dog wanted to go after the cats who had been sunning themselves on the warm asphalt of the driveway. He may end up being trained yet. Ha.

------> I was told that I am the kind of person who will make lemonade out of the lemons I have been handed. Yeah, and eventually I will get them sweetened and things changed for everyone who has the same situation. Squeaky wheel gets greased you know. It just just takes time and patience. Lord knows I have patience, I JUST WANT IT NOW..... ::: runs and ducks:::::

I took a muscle relaxant about an hour ago and the tightness that was in my neck has dissapated a bunch. The only problem is that I can't take it all the time. But now it's okay for the time being.

I have been busy reading The Alexandria Link and I really like it. I am reading a different book at work, because I can do it in bits and pieces. In the throne room I have a book on pirate history. Not a room in the house without a book is the motto here. I lent my Mom the non fiction book by John Grisham, An Innocent Man. Won't see it back for a while because she is re-reading The Robe.

Big kid is getting a package from Singapore. Ooooooh. It's a pocket watch. I can't wait to see it. It's going to be at the post office tomorrow morning. He is excited. Little kid goes back to school tomorrow. Back to a routine.

Tomorrow I do taxes. Will take about 3 hours and then we sign them and mail them in. I hope we have good news. I had no income for the year so we should be okay.

Here's to a nice quiet night.

Ciao.
- 30 -

Yum, 4 new books to read

I like the cat but it's not that I am so bored. I have a bunch of things to do before I go to work. Like sort out my change so I have bus fare and all that.
I don't know where I will be today, but chances are it's the dungeon for me. Oh well. At least I have a job and I am getting paid. Whee.

Bought some books yesterday and I am so glad that I went to the bookstore. I bought Steve Berry's The Alexandria Link, and on the buy 2 get one 1 free display I bought Eats, Shoots, and Leaves which is wonderful, Santa Montefiore's book
The Gypsy Madonna, and John Krakauer's book Into The Wild. These will occupy me for a while. I am going to take the thinnest one with me to work. Maybe I can get a few pages looked at if I am in the dungeon.

My MIL is having surgery today. I hope that it goes well. She's a nice person. She did give birth to my husband so I guess she's not all bad.

Postage is going up again. Joy. I guess I'll have to get some forever stamps for .41¢
I do mail a lot of stuff to my casework since the fax number I have is bad. I wish I could email her but it doesn't seem like federal workers like to get email from their constituents.

Not much else going on.
Need to do some stuff with my withholding etc.
CHeers!
Ciao.
-30-

Unplanned day off

So I have to take some of my stored hours and take the oldest kid to the doctor. Joy. At least I have them to use.
The kid smashed his fingers this morning so I get to go to the doctor with him.

HE can't tell them he did it at work because they don't accept workers compensation claims at the medical group any longer. Probably lack of funding from the insurers. Thank God I was able to have it there when I got hurt. Lord only knows what kind of mess I would have had to endure had I seen the company doctors....wait, I've already had to endure a mess. What's the difference?

Big news.

The kid who went to Disneyland got stuck on the ride. IT stopped on a curve for her. They were evacuated out. What fun. So she has a story to tell. They were given fast passes to use at the park in lieu of riding the Matterhorn. Lucked out. They will use it on Space Mountain.

I am going to treat myself to 2 new books today. I need something new to read instead of thrice read Nora Roberts bodice rippers. Borders, here I come!

Flights have been full this week. Lots and lots of people coming off of them and moaning about the long walk from the gate to baggage claim. Why doesn't this airport have moving sidewalks? Good question, it certainly would make a difference. Why doesn't this airport have a single entry point and have all the terminals interconnected? The planners didn't anticipate the need for stringent security measures and each terminal has a different layout, ownership and needs. Why are the terminals so shoddy. NO major rehabs in over 20 years. TBIT was build in 1984 and is just now getting some needed work. OF course adding more airplanes to the mix makes it just that much more crowded. Wait till Qantas flies the A380 into here. Want to see a mess????? Betcha there will be gate checks then and people will be royally pissed off.

The wind is picking up and there are a lot more clouds in the sky. Fun. Wonder if any of that wet stuff will fall from the sky?

Nuff said for now. Need to get showered and ready to go to the docs!

Ciao. Babies.
=30=

Monday ---...---...---

Made it through the weekend. Got through work on Friday and only worked 1/2 a shift on Saturday. I got my shopping done after that and got a decent night's sleep. I got up at 545 on Sunday and got to 630 service. Read my lessons and listened to the sermon that was preached in Korean and translated into English. Then I came home and went to sleep till I had to get up and go to 2nd service. Again a joint service and the added bonus of a soprano saxophone solo. Not good. Oh well, it's only once a year.

Did the dinner about 5pm at my Mothers house. I brought all the food and had precooked most everything so all we had to do was bbq the brats and dish up the rest of the goodies. I had parboiled the brats at home, cut up 2 lbs of onions for grilled onions, brought chips and dips, and an antipasto salad as well as a fruit salad. All Mom had to do was make the baked beans. We had a nice time, everyone sat and talked and shared stories. I was exhausted when I got home and went to bed at 8PM. The white Zin helped that.

Both kids are still asleep. I am supposed to take the younger one to the social security office this afternoon. She's sacked out. Now she's up. I have to get the son up and will bribe him with food to drive us there. Older one when to a party and came home and is still asleep.

Didn't go to the gym today. I was pooped. Suppose I should have gone.

Not much else to report. I am going to read for a while and then see what gives.

Ciao. Babies.
- 30 -

I'm angry, tired and hurting

Yeah this is so true. No return beyond this point. I had a nice happy post running around in my mind and then the pain started. I've stood under a hot shower for 10 minutes and it's not helping one little bit. I hurt like an SOB.

I will go to work and do what I can for the 8 hours. If they insist I go to TBIT and count bodies, so be it. If they tell me to go to the dungeon so be it. I have to get through today and tomorrow. Then 2 blessed days without people asking me where the baggage claim is or how to get to UAL. Ugh. It's not the people, it's the pain. I can legally lift my arm over my head for 2 hours a shift. What kind of suck ass instruction is that? I have a <5>

My goal for this weekend is to get through tomorrow, I will get off early and get to bed at a decent hour. Going to church on Sunday. Having dinner with the family Sunday night.
Monday:
Do the taxes. Get the taxes signed and mailed.
Write my case worker and see if I can go to another orthopedist and get a 2nd opinion that is not weighted to the employer.
Clean my family room. Have my son help me do that.
Scream out loud.
I just can't articulate my frustration at the way this department is handled. I see things and I wonder how these people can manipulate this system and get away with it. I have no one to share my frustration with at work. It's like the scarlet letter on the chest. Instead of A it's an L. The depression is just getting to me I think.

Nothing else. I doubt if anyone will read this anyway.

Ciao.

-30-

Ouch Ouch Ouch

I had my 9th steroid injection into my shoulder today. And even with the cold spray it hurt like an SOB. This was a 3/3/1 injection. 3 of Marcaine, 3 of Lidocaine and 1 of corticosteroid. Hopefully it will do something. I am tired of hurting. But since I've had a bunch of others, and the result wasn't smashing I don't have a lot of faith that this one will be any different. But when you see the syringe and it's filled up with 7ml of liquid you feel just a little queasy. At least I do. I've got the bandage still on.

On brighter notes. I went to the gym this morning and after speaking with the doc, I can do the breast stroke but nothing over head. I can also use machines but do no lifting overhead. I can row to my hearts delight. I will have to figure out a way to get to the gym since I wont' have a car. ::insert not happy face here :::

The chupathingy is now legal and registered. It needs an oil and transmission fluid change desperately. Next paycheck goes to that I think.

Can't think of much else to write now.
Ciao, babies.
-30-