24 January, 2010

The Longest Walk

We are still waiting on the Lord to open the gates of heaven and take Paul up into the never ending fairway in heaven. It's been2 weeks since he had anything of nutritional value. The pain is being contained with methadone and ativan, as well as diazepam and atropine. He had an infection from his catheter and his output is next to nil these days. The infection is being treated with Tylenol suppositories.

I found this prayer the other day and we posted it in the room that he is in:

I arise today
a mighty strength:
God's power to guide me,
God's might to uphold me,
God's eyes to watch over me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to give me speech,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to shelter me,
God's host to secure me.
----- Bridgid of Gael

So we enter into another week. I am being selfish as I have a prepaid trip to Las Vegas next week to see Better Midler. We had no idea that this would have happened when we made the reservations in November.

Prayers would be appreciated (if anyone reads this)>

15 January, 2010


Today my stepdad was brought home from the hospital to die in familiar surroundings with the people he loves and who loves him.

He had been in there since the 1st and had gone down hill faster than a bobsled on ice.
Encephalopathy (may cause permanent structural changes and irreversible damage to the brain. Some encephalopathies can be fatal.)

He has lost the ability to speak, swallow, his eyes are closed. He moans and grimaces if he is moved against his will.

He is in a hospital bed, wearing a diaper, with a catheter. He is being kept comfortable with Ativan, Methadone and there is morphine in a security package in the fridge, that's to be used only if instructed by the doctor. There is a DNR in place.

Now the waiting for him to cross over into eternity begins. He was baptized and confirmed and was a good Christian .I feel sorry that he can't have a last sacrament because he can't swallow the host. But he will have the last rites and we will glorify God by knowing that he is getting a good man, a war hero, and the best grandfather my children ever knew.

I believe truly that when he crosses the divide and is greeted by God at the gates, he'll be shown to the best golf course in eternity and be able to play under par for the rest of his life.

Go in peace and serve the Lord Paul.

04 January, 2010

back in those days of yore

When I was a little girl, when people asked my brother and I what we wanted to be, we'd say a nurse like mom and a police officer like dad.

I've always enjoyed medicine, and have been self educated to take care of my wellness. So when I go into the hospital I know the routine. Tonight I had a new twist. Wearing a yellow gown with gloves on going into an iso room. My stepdad is still considered contagious because of the MRSA. I wish I could be a wide eyed optimist and say gee it's going to be a okay but I don't know.

These will be long days and longer nights. My daughter is going to spend the nights at grandmas so she has someone she loves with her.

I can't think of anything good to write. I am praying like mad.

03 January, 2010

Into the 1st week

Another exciting day, football and more football. I think I'll go into withdrawl after football season because baseball has to be the most boring game there is....at least in curling you have predictable movement. The winter olympics are coming so I'll get some fast action there. LOL.

Have a really bad pain problem today. It's to the point I'll take a pain pill and a muscle relaxer. Hurts like an SOB. I made pea soup yesterday and cut up ham bones, celery and carrots and did a lot of stirring. Was so good though.

Don't have any idea what I will feed these people though. I may just give them the debit card and say knock yourselves out.

Peace and out.

01 January, 2010

Another one to remember

I watched the ball drop with the errant husband at 2100PST , live in NYC . There aren't any big things here in the LA area. No matter, at our midnight it was like being in a war zone. Shells going off loud enough to rattle our windows and scare our pets.

So at 0055 the phone rings, it's my mom. My stepdad had just been taken to the hospital with breathing difficulties. The errant husband said I'll come over and take you, you don't need to be out there with the crazies, and the power was out in a 2 sq mile area thanks to a yahoo taking out
a transformer and the pole. They got there and he stayed with her till 0300. He went back this morning and brought her home to change clothes. He's now in ICU because all the beds in Cardiology were full. He's got pneumonia and some fluid in his lungs. He's comfortable now. 2 years ago I spent 6 hours at the ER at another hospital with my mother, when she hurt her back. I hope that it is for this year.

Watching 2012 and it's a dumb movie. Even on big screen it's a dumb movie. Almost as much cardboard scenery chewing as The Day After Tomorrow. Glad I didn't have to pay for it.

As far as things in the real world. I don't think I'll be getting that passport after all. Don't want to be treated like a criminal in my own country. And the deceit is more and more exposed.

So let's have a happy new year and make 2010 the year we do things right.