musings from the back of the church

 No way in God's great green earth would I have a wedding party of more than 40 people.

Why you say amulbunny, why is that? Do you have some special talent for this?

Thanks for asking. I was a wedding hostess/show runner for a long time and I did weddings that were tiny as well as huge. The more people, the more chances for problems. Especially with children. No matter how well behaved little girls and little boys seem, when they are together they get into trouble. I remember a wedding where the bride insisted that her 18 month old son walk down the aisle in his perfect little white tuxedo. How many 18 month old kids obey perfectly? My point exactly. A friend said having that having a lot of kids in a wedding would be like herding cats. And you know how well cats like to be herded?

More is not better. Perhaps after doing weddings for >15 years I am jaded but I think the best ones were the intimate ones. That way your attention is not drawn to the bridesmaid with the huge zit on her face, the groomsman who's got an itch or the junior bride who has to show off for everyone and takes the attention from the 2 people who's special day it is, the bride and groom. And you have to remember that it's their day and no one else's. 

Make sure your photographer et al realize you are in a church and not a hall.

I had a photographer once who jingled his hand in his pockets, with his keys and change the entire wedding when he wasn't taking pictures. It was annoying and disrespectful to the bride. And I've seen videographers literally straddle the communion rail during the service trying to get the best shots. By that time you can't go up there and drag them away and most likely you'll never see these people again so you can't ban them.

Drunks, stoners et al.

I did a wedding once upon a time where the entire wedding party came in a party RV. They were literally shit faced except for the bride who was in tears. When I asked her what possessed them to do this, she said her fiance promised her it would only be a couple of drinks. Yeah right. One of the bridesmaids was so smashed she did a wonderful impression of the Leaning Tower of Pisa. 

There was a wedding where the groomsmen and groom were out behind the church all milled together snorting cocaine. Ah the joys of people who never ever shut up. 

There was a very lovely wedding one afternoon where I went into the brides room to check on things and the bride and her attendants were toasting each other with Cristal and having hors d'oeuvres. They were a fun group. 

Music, music, music

The bride came into the church on traditional music while the groom made his appearance to the theme from Indiana Jones. 

The bride's cousins played in a string quartet that never heard of tuning up before they played.

The organist had a drug problem and fell asleep falling face forward on the keyboard during the vows. 

He didn't do any weddings after that. 

Personally I hate the wedding march from Lohengrin. Detest it actually. I love the Purcell Trumpet Tunes, Canon in D, and any number of other musical pieces to enter a sanctuary in. I think there are so many recessionals that can be played loud and proud and truly not a whole lot of people care what the bridal party is exiting to. They want to get the pictures done and off to the reception. 

And lastly remember this:

It's one day that is special to you. The actual ceremony will be about 35 minutes. If you have communion during your service for the congregation, then add 30-45 minutes. And if you do that, ask for chairs for your attendants if you and your partner decide to participate and hand out the elements. 

You won't remember much of the ceremony, it's a blur. That one special moment when you are introduced is the best one. You aren't chattel property that is being transferred from one person to another, you are a living human being who is making a commitment to another living human being to honor, respect, and love them as good as you can for your lifetime. This transfer of authority thing is sick. 

Celebrate your togetherness with love.

And that's the rant for today.

Got the girls squeezed today

I dutifully went to my appt and 15 minutes later I was on my way to my haircut. The scans were okay, but until i get the letter from the radiology dept we will be cautious.

Fall's starting to creep in. I bought some organic pumpkin today, because I might get ambitious and make some pies from scratch, when I get the kitchen thrown out. Tonight I made oven fried potatos and hot wings only to find out my daughter isn't coming home. She could have told me.
Such is life. More for me.




I am getting 2 new books from Amazon. I still have 2 that I am reading but I may put them aside.

I'm not getting much inspiration here tonight and I can't type worth shit. I am however going to go and do something worthwhile. But I can't tell you what.

Later

There are a lot (aka Hey You Victorian Wannabes!)

of "Christian women" bloggers out there in the ether. They want to bring back the "glorious days" of Victorian England to America. A time when the landed aristocracy sat and drank tea and contemplated their lot while downstairs, poor women slaved and worked to cook their meals, clean their clothes and make sure the tea was hot.


One in particular got such a glossy view of the Victorian era if you were landed and had money and prestige. Her home is filled with frou frou pink cabbage roses and glitter. Her crafts are simplistic and childlike. She stresses lady hood, stay at home wives and the evils of higher education. One of her recent forays into crafts consisted of hanging sheets between some trees to make a tent and a floor made of an upside down flannel tablecloth. Something my kids might have concocted when they were little. She was truing to emulate a scene from a period movie.

My grandparents emigrated from Germany in the 1880's. They didn't have a life of Victorian simplicity, even though they lived in a town. My grandfather worked hard and my grandmother worked before they got married as a seamstress. EVen in the boonies of Central Wisconsin there were haves (lumber barons) and have nots.

My parents both worked. My father was a county sheriff, my mother a nurse. I never felt neglected nor did I feel cheated out of their time. I worked part and full time to help keep our income at a good level. I don't think my children felt neglected.

It aggravates the crap out of me when people try to bring back the good old days which weren't the good old days at all. People got diseases that now are cured with modern medicine. People can travel in comfort and not in a creaking wagon.

Wake up and smell the cabbage roses honey, if you didn't have the internet no one would be there to give you your props for your idiotic ideas.

Blah.

  da bunny  

So it's been a couple of weeks

I've been on the new meds and honestly I can't tell you if they are working or not. I am still having a lot of trouble sleeping at night, last night it was because my husband was / is an ass. I shined going in to have blood work. I'll go over to the lab on Monday morning and get the bloods drawn there.

Rained for 3 days and it was lovely. of course I don't go anywhere when it's raining so I got to sit in the living room, enjoy the fireplace and catch up on my dvr'ed shows.

Talked to the landlord today, he isn't making it. The payments and his fixed income aren't making it. He asked me if we wanted to take over the payments and take the house. I thought I'd talk to the husband first. We had a short conversation (husband) and he said he thought it was a good idea. So now we'll talk to our realtor friend and see what he says. We can afford it, and quite possibly with a refi we could have lower payments than our rent. We already pay the gas, water, trash, and other utilities. The question is can we qualify? Our credit is less than perfect and this house has lost a lot of value. 2 years ago it was valued at over 500K now it's less than 350K. Amazing since this house probably sold for 3500$ when it was new.

Got a pine cone thrown at me by a squirrel today. Damn thing sits up in the pine trees and eats the cones. Since we have a forest in back, it's a smorgasbord for him. He hasn't gotten to the pomegranate tree yet. I may have to pick a couple since i think they are ripe.

Peace all.