I have severe arthritis and tendonitis of my left thumb. My mom has the exact same thing. Today I went to the doc at 1115 and had 3 shots into the fleshy area above the tendons. The pain is wild. It goes all the way up to my shoulder. I am having an awful time typing with one hand but if I don't use the thumb I can do it. OUCH~~~~~
Then I'm getting attacked on PM's on FB by my brother and his wife who seem to have intimate knowledge of my relationship with my 90 year old mother. They live 1800 miles away from her, I live 4 miles from her. After I called my mom and told her what viciousness had been written she got very upset. The next evening as I was checking my mail, I got another PM that called me a tattle tale. I didn't respond to either.
But my daughter in Chicago and my niece who lives with my Mom got pissed. They took it upon them selves to write an email to my brother and sister in law and set them straight. This is the letter with names redacted:
I have sat by and watched you mistreat my family from your high horse for years and I absolutely cannot stay silent anymore.
WE are here, and YOU are hundreds of miles away. You know absolutely NOTHING of what you are talking about.
The fact that you and XXXXX have the audacity to send such a horrible message to XXX on a day that she is celebrating the legacy of her father is repulsive to say the least.
I intend to clear some things up for you right now since it's apparently very hard for you to find out the entire truth before you pass judgement.
1. Years ago when XXXX lost his job at the airport Grandma felt so bad for him (because she loves him, this may be a hard concept for you to grasp but please try) that she began giving him odd jobs around the house so she could give him some money without just giving him money. I just talked to her last night and this is her direct quote: "I started giving him money for helping me and I just continued doing it. I think that's my business."
2. XXXX and XXX don't help her around the house and yard because I do. I do what she needs me to do. I do what she asks me to do. I ask her if she needs help. A lot of the time she declines my offer. Grandma is a strong woman even though she is 90 and she has told me countless times that if she doesn't continue to do things she will die. So I let her do what she still can and help her with what she can't. This does not mean that XXX andXXXX do not do anything for her because again you know only half the story.
-helps grandma with her computer whenever she needs it
-takes her to costco and helps her shop
-drives her to her eye appointments
-comes over to help grandma with whatever she needs if i'm not available
-brings grandma flowers
-takes grandma and XXX out to dinner (and pays!)
-makes beautiful woodworking projects for grandma upon request
3. When we went to Solvang as a family. We all wanted to go. XXX offered to pay for lunch but grandma said she wanted to treat us. So we accepted that because doing things for her family makes her happy.
That is the whole 100% truth and I know it because it's my LIFE. I live it. I know what goes on in this household and this side of the family.
Let me just share a direct quote from grandma: "I love my family, all of you so dearly that this just TEARS me apart
You aren't the ones sitting up with grandma while she SOBS because she is so upset at how her family treats each other, I AM.
IT'S ME WHO HAS TO WITNESS HER BREAKDOWNS EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTHS.
Your constant criticism of XXX and how she lives her life and raised her children is abhorrent.
Criticizing XXX for going on a trip?
Be happy for her! Is that so hard?
Telling XXX she isn't christian enough because she doesn't go to church?
Mind your own business. It's not that hard.
Calling XXXX a roach?
Don't you EVER call her anything again.
Telling XXXX that she is wasting her life?
Why? Because someone is living differently and handling things differently than you would? Please get over yourselves. You do not dictate the standards by which others live.
Are you so unhappy, so miserable that you feel the need to bring everyone down around you?
I have refrained from reaching out to either of you because you are so hateful, so wrathful and I just don't need that toxicity in my life. No one does. No one should have to put up with this. THIS is NOT how you treat FAMILY.
Your behavior is embarrassing! It is cringeworthy! Do you think you're so high above us? So perfect? Look in a mirror and examine yourselves.
You call yourselves christians? You have a lot to learn about love and acceptance.
Maybe you forgot but:
Judge not, that you be not judged.
As of now there is no reply to that mail. As far as I am concerned, I'm done. My mom says it's ok not to like everything someone does but to attack them and be vicious is not allowed. I told her she could hit both of them with a 2x4 and I'd dig the hole for a new patio. Never in my life have I been attacked like that, even by enemies I've had.
If you read her FB she's always touting the Bible and being a good Christian and praising God. She gets to hang out with a lot of my cousins, I don't because I live 1800 miles away. My brother has had me blocked on FB since he got on it. He is rude, condescending and an elder in their LCMS church. Great way to show the love of God and to love your family. The last time I visited, I was exhausted after leaving my daughter to start her new life in Chicago. We had driven from LA to Chicago and the stress about killed me. We got to their house and he was barely civil. I didn't ever bring up anything that was controversial, I was the good little visitor. Yet when I left I felt like I had been castigated up one side and down the other. I had to drive home to LA from MN trying to get myself back to normal.
(Though I went into a deep depression after my daughter moved).
So that's it. My not so perfect life. This weekend I turn 62. The husband and I have rented a car, got a room on the river in Laughlin NV where it's 109 and I am going to burn them out of my head. I am going to have fun, wear a flirty dress and drink beer and dance.