- That eschews contact with anyone except their immediate family.
- Where the father's word is equated with pronouncements from God.
- Fun is doled out in the father's opinion when it's approved by God.
- No reading of local or international news, "We get it from standing in line at the grocery store".
- All vacations are taken together, Only the male members of the family are allowed to travel alone.
- Women members of the family are to be obedient to any male over the age of 13, even if they are in their 30's.
- Courtship models are touted as supreme to 2 people meeting each other and getting to know them. Honoring God by not touching that person during the courtship, no holding hands, no hugging, no hanging out alone on the front porch and just getting to know each other without chaperone present. Any phone calls and emails must be approved and listened to by the adult male parent.
- Women once they have agreed to this model and wedding, are relegated to be basically slaves of patriarchy.
- This family has a daughter over 30, a SAHD, who patiently waits for her prince charming while 2 of her brothers have married. The family says they are a model of courtship, yet this talented, charming woman is not allowed to go to a regular church service, go to the library to get books to read, all book have to be approved by the father, the BIBLE reigns supreme. She remains a child locked in a woman's body.
- No friends of their own age. The father has decreed that the children (even adults) will lose their focus with God and dishonor their family if they mingle.
- No outings with friends to movies. God doesn't like that something takes your focus away from him.
- No organized sports, it takes their focus away from God. Funny, I heard a lot of prayers from kids playing sports, please God let me kick this goal, please God let me hit this ball......
- The last wedding began with a sermon about death. Nothing about love and happiness, but death and the wages of sin. If I had been that bride, I'd have turned around and raced out the church door, because that was basically a birds eye view of what life was going to be like. Scheduled to the enth degree, no free time to develop interests, because they would take your focus away from God.
- And last but not least, a honeymoon on the converted bus as the family goes to several conventions. No privacy. Sounds like fun doesn't it?
So this family had a failed courtship, a wedding called off 6 days before the date. For a system that is supposed to protect people from giving away a piece of their heart to someone, there are hearts shattered and in pieces.
This courtship model essentially gives 2 people who've been taught all their lives that sex is dirty and to be ashamed of their bodies, a license to go from 0 to 95 on their wedding nights. Most people who date and have relationships, usually take their time to get to know someone and they when they are reading enter into a physical relationship. How awkward it must be for 2 young people who've probably never seen another person of the opposite sex naked to jump into bed on their wedding night and make wild monkey love?
Makes you wonder where Jesus comes into all this? To make a child feel like she is going to hell with the sinners? To equate breaking the engagement to the death of suffering of our Lord, and his resurrection the only saving grace? I say bravo to the child. Your light would have been hid under a bushel wielded by the cult leader. Your marriage wouldn't be just the 2 of you, it would have been you, your husband and his father. I feel bad for the young man, he's never had to experience heartbreak before and has no one other than his cult leader father and brothers to fall back on.
Be careful of wolves in sheeps clothing that promise you the path to righteousness. You may fall into a cult that you can't escape from.
A random thought for this Monday.